So this month I opted to do NaNoWriMo and I can safely say at this moment in time that I have utterly failed. So unless I can write a little under 40000 words in the next four days, that's the end of that.

I'm lazy, there's no way around that. It's a personality flaw and a point-blank explanation of nearly everything in my life. If I could marry a rich man and coast through the rest of my life reading and eating mint-chocolate chip ice-cream, I would. I would do almost anything to have that sort of life. I am not ashamed of admitting it. So rich males out there (or females, I'm not picky)... /winkwink/

Unfortunately I'm poor and only a little bit pretty so I have to talk to you guys about my failure of not being able to spend a month embracing literary abandon. Not that I don't like talking (writing) to you guys, I have so much love for you all, it's just...I really really like ice-cream :(

About NaNoWriMo, I'd like to argue that it isn't *entirely* my fault. Mostly it is, but not all. I mentioned to you who read my drabbles that I may acquire the worst job in the world: babysitting my nieces. It seems that that prediction has come true. My sister, as expected, got her god-forsaken job and here I am playing nanny to the brats. Don't get me wrong, I love them more than anything, but if they are not the demonic off-spring of Satan I'll eat my...well, something weird. I'll eat something weird.

Iman is 7, she's a doll when she's acting her age and not like a 3-year-old. She's intelligent, helpful and a very amusing conversationalist. However, god forbid I don't feel like talking to her ("Leave me alone," "Don't you love me, aunt Maya?") or if I don't wan't her to sit on my lap ("You're heavy," "Don't you love me Maya?") or if I want to check my email ("Go sit with your sisters," "But Maya-" "Iman." "You don't love me, do you?"). I love her so much, but sometimes it's really really hard to like her. [Edit: This morning I woke up and she was hovering over me, scooting closer and closer to me on the bed. When I asked her what the hell she was doing she responded, "I said good morning." Apparently when she first woke me up (woke me up!) to tell me that, in my sleepy state I ignored her and she proceeded to be a creepy and just sat and watched me for god knows how long until the movement on the bed scared me out of my sleep.]

Journey is a just over a year and a half. I know it's terrible to say, but she's my favorite. And I let everyone know it. Maybe it's because she's so blessedly quiet when I need her to be, maybe it's because her teeth are perfectly strait and her smile is beautiful, maybe it's because I think it's funny that I'm the only she doesn't try to physically abuse (she hits everyone, Iman had the black eye at one point to prove it and the dog is scared of her) but I dote on that kid completely. I'm not delusional of course, she's terribly behaved, violent, and mean spirited when she wants to be, but I'll be the first to blurt out that line, "She's just a baby!" And she is, my JJ Bean is just a baby and I'm sure she didn't mean to pee on the floor after she didn't get that lollipop. She's not spiteful at all, nooooo.

Brielle is the worse by far, at 10 months, I'm still not sure what to think of the kid. Is she adorable and innocent (because she is the cutest baby on the face of the planet. No one has a right to be the cute. She smiles and laughs like a fucking cherub, you can't even stay mad at her!), or is she the most devious of them all? Today she screamed for two straight hours. I know, I timed her. No tears, just screams. After the first 45 minutes of whining and pitiful whimpering (if she didn't do it so offten I'd be more sympathetic) I couldn't take it anymore and put her in her crib. Thus started the two hours from hell. I'm sure the neighbors think I've been beating her viciously. I turned on the mobile every ten minutes, left the door open a crack so she'd know we haven't left her (she seems to have a abandonment issues and clings to my sister which is weird cause she (Brie) leaves a lot, her father's family likes to take her, so it's not like she's unused to being with other people and still, two hours, and the only reason I rescused her then is because everyobe eles was eatting and I figured the little bugger was hungry. She's a meanace, I swear. And she needs to always be on someone. I don't mind holding her no matter how vicious those ninja-farts are, but not as long as she wants me to--I have two other kids to watch. Journey is easily jealous when it comes to me (I like to think I'm her favorite as well) and Iman needs to be watched like a hawk so the dizzy child doesn't break her own neck. Holding Brie for hours on end just isn't an option and putting her down results in a fit like today. Though to be fair, after her release from imprisonment, she is usually much quieter. I can't figure out if it's because she feels guilty or is exhausted from all that senseless trouble making. I'd vote on the latter.

But, I've gotten off topic I see. The point was that my sister has a new job, but she has to work nights from about 4 in the afternoon to around 12:30 in the morning. Having three underage children makes this a problem. In swoops Nanny Maya! Reluctant, under-appreciated and unpaid, her motto is: "At least I get to eat everyday! Even if it's three servings of oatmeal because sometimes that is all she has! Up Up and away!"

...Or something like that...

So yeah, time for writing comes few and far between. I was behind before but there was a chance I could catch up. I'm not so grotesquely optimistic as before. The upside until yesterday was that I got to watch netflix for hours on end and I am not such a noob about as many animes as before. But then my sister didn't pay her bill and  it's off. I could always watch stuff on the internet, there is always youtube and hulu, domains like that, but surrounded as I am it would become a family event that has four of us gathered uncomfortably in front of my laptop and I would miss most of the episodes. Or go insane over the questionably talent of many of the voice actors doing English dubs (because Iman does nothing but whine about subtitles), so that's out. Except in early morning hours such as this when it's so quiet I don't know what to do with my self other than watch in interest how far I can make the mice jump when I make a sudden noise or movement when they sneak out for food. And with these girls and their overindulgent, wasteful eating habits, there is a lot of it ( I just figured out today that Iman peals the fried bit off of fried shrimp, what's up with that?? Does she not realize how expensive shrimp is period, but jumbo fried shrimp?? She begged for it and yes I had a fit especially since I had to share my food with the little ones (which wasn't what I wanted by the way because I doubt it's health for them to eat what I would normally eat when I have the rear opportunity to splurge on take away) just to learn that the last several times we've had seafood, she hasn't been eating half of it. I wanted to smack her!).

So, without the comforts of peaceful reading, writing or television, we've just had to watch their DVDs. It is UNHOLY the number of times I've seen "The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland" and if I see it again I'm going to take the dog to defecate of Jim Henson's grave. She likes that, defecating I mean. She does it all over the house after all (which is where I draw the line of my sisterly duties, I am not picking up after a dog. I didn't do it when I had a dog, I won't do it now when she has a dog and I'm watching three kids and trying to keep some semblance of order. Besides, that's Iman's job, not that she cares). Though to be honest it's hardly her fault, no one walks her and if she was house trained before she came here, she sure as hell is untrained now. Over the last few days, I've been the one feeding Tapi (short for Tapioca, I named her, though she responds more quickly to 'dog') when it's become clear that Iman has forgotten. She 'forgets' a lot of things. How to be quiet cause her sisters are sleeping, how to ask permission before she touches my stuff, how she doesn't need that much toilet paper for anything other than clogging a toilet, how to put her dishes in the sink, how to wash her own dishes, how she has homework every night, how I told her not to lie to me about not having homework everynight, how to take her bookbag with her when she leaves for school in the morning, how to change her clothes when she gets home and how chocolate or grease or 'what the hell is that?!' is really hard to get out of white uniform shirts. Yes, she forgets a lot of things. That poor dog. I hope she makes it through the weekend when I fianlly get to go home. Just the other day my sister and I discussed how things come here to die. Animlas, relationships... there's a three way tie between hopes, dreams and bunny rabbits (it's embarrassing to admit how many they've been through).

/sigh/

Rich man or woman with mint chocolate-chip ice cream, where are you? I need you now more than ever.

So, right. NaNo Fail.

...ugh...

hitori